Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Chet Baker? Pepe Le Pew. Pepe? Chet Baker.

7:10 AM, Tuesday, January 10. Dawn is just breaking. Chet Baker goes out for his morning constitutional. He's gone an unusually long time...

Chet Baker: Oh, hello there! I'm Chet Baker! Did you know that my favorite toys are all black and white? I have a pony, and a panda, and two Boston terriers. They're stuffed, and I love to chew them up. You look like an animal who needs a playmate. Would you like to play?
Pepe le Pew: Hmmmph. Get lost.
Chet Baker: You're so cute! C'mon! Let's play! Nippy, nip!
Pepe le Pew: Say hello to my little friend! Sploot!
Chet Baker: Aggggh! Mommy! Let me in! A bad thing has happened! Quick, quick! Let me burrow under the covers of the bed!!
Zick: Chet! What took you so long? What's happened to you? Chet?? What the....Agggggggh! Wait! Get off that couch! Not on the bed!!! Come HERE!! Agh! Where's the baking soda!
runs to computer, hits Google Search: neutralize skunk. Sends Bill to scrounge hydrogen peroxide (two very tired half-bottles) and baking soda (one box). Empties both into basin with a squirt of dishwashing liquid. Throws Chet into tub.
Scrubs Chet down with mixture; abandons all hope of making 8:45 dental appointment on time; changes clean clothes, now thoroughly odiferized.



Chet Baker: I promise never to do this again.
Zick: Right.