These Things Happen
James Kim never made it to help. His quest ended in a cold mountain creek. In the last stages of hypothermia and delerium, people feel as if they're burning up. A trail of his clothing led to the water. This resourceful, brilliant, soulful and loving young man tried to save his girls, but the mountain got him in the end.
What to conclude? That sometimes prayers work and sometimes they don't? Which leads me to wonder: How does any of this work? Is there anything to conclude? Is it all just random?
Mountains and canyons don't care what goes on among the tiny life forms scrambling along their flanks. Cold fronts and snow squalls simply are. It is left to us to wait and worry, hope for the best and fear the worst. It's left to us to love and weep and ache. The sun rises and sets and bathes the snowy peaks in light.
Human anguish leaves the cliffs and canyons unmoved, just as beautiful as before, just as impassionate, just as dangerous. There is no remorse in nature.Are these the mysterious ways of God? When a tornado hits an elementary school, is there a plan, something to be learned or gained? Was the tsunami his work?
Have we been moved to invent this benevolent power to help us grapple with our own crushing insignificance?
Sabine asks for her daddy now, but she will not remember him. Penelope and Kati are forever changed. They will have to find a way to go on without James. I am heartbroken tonight, a part of me forever changed, too.
And now they are three.Treasure your babies, your husband, your wife, your friends. Love them now, with all the passion you can muster. Never assume they will always be with you. We never know when they may wander away, or be taken from us.
posted by Julie Zickefoose @ 11:07 PM
16 comments
16 Comments:
Oh, Jules - I do love your passionate Irish soul!
Julie:
I lost my nephew to cancer 2 years ago and he was only 16 years old. When I went to Fairview hospital to be with him one more time, I ask Jake "Jake this is your uncle Mike, how are you doing" Jake gives me a weak thumbs up. The doctors gave him some morphine and that was the last time he communicated with anyone before he died hours later. He was my favorite nephew and we were very close.
I, like you wondered about God's plan for us and about prayers. I prayed my guts out that God would heal Jake but my prayers were not granted. I lost my faith in God and questioned religeon in the same way you described in your blog entry.
BUT what drew me back to church is this -- If I continue to believe there is no God then there is no heaven. My faith told me that Jacob is in heaven and if there is a heaven - there is a God. I go to church every Sunday knowing some prayers will be answered and some will not. I guess we have to live with the pain as much as the joy. I figure though there is more joy in life then pain.
I understand the need for the husband to get help, but living around snow almost 6 months out of the year, we were always told that if your car goes off the road and you lose communication (cell phone)- stay near your car and use your car for shelter. Yes if I were in the husband's shoes I would look for help but again living in northern Minnesota I would not go very far from my car & family. Its a very sad ending.
I am sorry this is so long but your blog reminded me of what I went through.
Merry Christmas
Mike H.
Duluth
Mike H.
You are so right in many ways. All I have been carrying around with me is the mantra from up here of "cotton kills." I was in a small plane with a very good pilot when we ran into turbulence. The thing I focused on was that my husband was going to be so mad at me because I had not done the laundry and was wearing cotton socks. My top was nylon with a fleece over, my pants were fleece, I had hiking boots on, but cotton socks. I was so glad when we landed. I went and bought about six new pairs of wool socks.
And stay with your car! Make little scouting trips, try to get attention, but stay with the car!
There is so much grief and so many lessons in this story. But, the core of the matter -- you are right, Julie, is to love your family deeply and fully and make sure they know it deeply and fully.
It's so tragic. Your posts are beautiful and a fine tribute to a special man and his family.
So so very sad. I believe everything happens just as it was meant to, whether it's painful or joyful.
I try to live my life loving & appreciating everybody everyday even when they get on my last nerve.
It’s too easy to love someone once they’re gone. It’s loving them while they are still here that’s hard.
Julie-- I had written post similar to this last night, but couldn't bring myself to post it. Yes, you are right, the beautiful mountains do not care about the little lives that scramble on their flanks. It is left to us to make meaning about life and death. I feel so sad for the Kim family. We never set out on our journeys planning to be an object lesson in the struggle for survival, but it does happen. Pack your car carefully, carry appropriate gear, hug your loved ones. We learn from those who stumble before us.
Thanks for posting this, Julie.
You've asked the toughest questions. I don't think any of us have all of the answers, but here's one thing I believe-
You said "Human anguish leaves the cliffs and canyons unmoved, just as beautiful as before, just as impassionate, just as dangerous."
So true, but what about each of us? Are we unmoved? Do we remain distanced from these events? Are we unchanged? There is the danger for us. Sad things, terrible things happen. It's up to each one of us to look for the path to become better, truer, more selfless in love, more in the image of God. I believe that often these opportunities to change for the better come to us as the result of sadness or tragedy. We of the free will have the choice to be moved or unmoved.
This is such a powerful post, it brought tears to my eyes when I read it first thing this morning. As a native Minnesotan, I too, yelled at the TV when they said he went for help "no, no, no!! Stay with the car!!"
I think it is interesting how people seem to question their faith in God or wonder how God can let terrible things happen, only when it affects them personally. A wonderful pbs production on this was called (I think) Faith and Hope at Ground Zero.
I felt the same way when the closest person in the world to me was murdered during a random act of violence (car jacking) 15 years ago in DC. I'm not a believer of "all things happen for a reason". If I did, I think I would still be pretty P.O.ed at God. I'm a firm believer in free will which in turn creates a "hands off" policy where God is concerned. My friend was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
My heart and prayers goes out to the Kim Family. Many years ago Dick Cavett interviewed Anne Morrow Lindbergh and asked her if her strength came from the various losses she had suffered. "Oh my dear," Mrs. Lindbergh replied, "the loss of those we love only break us down. What builds us up, what strengthens, is the love and caring we receive while we are broken."
Christine
Takoma Park, MD
Beautiful, Christine. Thanks.
Yes, beautiful post Julie and wonderful insight Christine. I'm praying that Katie, Penelope and Sabine will feel the love coming from the caring hearts that are thinking of them, including my own.
Roxanne
Cody, WY
Thank you, blogpeople, for bringing your best thoughts here. This is powerful stuff. I read through your writing again and again, nodding in assent. Time, I guess, to move on, but not to stop caring, and looking for better paths for ourselves and our loved ones. Each of you has touched a truth.
In answer to your question about our own insignificance: Yes. The sooner we realize that our lives do not have some grand meaning, the sooner we can become humble, reasonable people. We can still be emotional and caring, but we must realize that coincidence and chaos are part of our universe.
Julie -- Here's what I think (and sometime I'll tell you more about why I have thought so much about this): God created the world and that includes the machinery that keeps it going. Sometimes the belts and drivetrains and shuttles catch us and when that happens we are still part of the world that God made. Occasionally when we are caught it happens that we get pulled out of the machinery (and that's a miracle) and sometimes we don't -- but we stay part of the world and part of creation regardless.
That's not the same as believing there is a grand pattern or design -- it's more about believing that we are important, but not more important than anything else.
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